I’ve had my heart broken several times by a book (i.e. The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness, The Fault In Our Stars by John Green, Where She Went by Gayle Forman, Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro) but nothing has prepared for the kind of heartbreak I experienced last week.
One of my required readings for this month was A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin and I must admit that I had a hard time trying to finish this chunkster of a book. This is already my third attempt to finish the book, and because of the challenge, I am glad that I made good progress with my reading. I actually made it a point not to simultaneously read another book so that I can focus more on the story and finish it this month. But towards the end, I had to have my heart broken.
The Red Wedding was totally unexpected and I had to take a breather for three days before I finally mustered enough courage to go on. I had to go out and eat cake (lots of cake) and my dreams were all of Westeros. I kept ranting on Twitter and disturbed some of my friends with text rants about the book (hi, Maria! hi, Meliza!). It was tremendous effort for me to pick up the book again and resume reading because after that big heartbreak, I have lost the desire to finish the book. Yes, that’s how affected I was. I still am, actually.
I still aim to finish the book before the month ends, though. I want my sweet revenge. I want my broken heart to be mended again. As much as I want to kill Mr. Martin for his cruelty and for tearing my heart into pieces, I still have this faith in him that he will be able to justify all the things that he did to my favorite characters.
A few chapters more. But for now, let me grieve.